I admit I identify a
lot with Vanessa in my judgments about elderly people. The assumptions
(frequently, but not always, accurate) usually regard the conservatism of
old people. As conservative often signifies traditional, I assume that older
individuals live their lives in strict tradition. When hearing about Filth's wife,
Vanessa thinks of “the imagined Betty: the marmalade-maker, Bridge-player, no
doubt church-flower arranger, and the grandchildren in the holidays” (183). The
picturesque vision of traditional family that Vanessa depicts aligns with my own.
However, in reality, Old Filth’s familial relationships were anything but traditional.
The first and
only relationship in which Old Filth cites that he was loved is his relationship
with Auntie May and Ada. The two take him in as an infant and young child and
raise him. While this may have been commonplace for Raj orphans, it does not
fit the archetypal English family structure of the 1920s. Neither of the two are
English, and neither of the two are blood relatives of his. Additionally, both
are female; thus, Old Filth has no male role models. The strong devotion little
Eddie has for Auntie May and Ada is exhibited when he is forced to leave them
for foster parents in Wales. He is described as sobbing in a way that
illustrates his devastation in leaving his nontraditional family (46).
The second nontraditional
relationship Old Filth has is with his friend Pat. On numerous occasions, other
minor characters question the strength of the friendship between the two young
men. When the Headmaster asks about it, Pat explains, “We've been brought up as
brothers…We’re a sort of subfamily” (98-99). With resolve, the Headmaster must
later explain to others, “There seems no physicality about it” (99). The
Headmaster’s response to Pat and Eddie’s relationship demonstrates its
unconventional nature. When thinking about Pat’s family, Eddie describes, “They’re
mine. Blood of my blood and bone of my bone” (100). Despite the fact that the
family is not truly Eddie’s kin, he nonetheless experiences a bond with them that
transcends this reality.
The third
unconventional familial relationship Old Filth experiences is his relationship
with his wife, Betty. Typically, traditional marriages are a mixture of friendship
and sexual partnership. In the case of Old Filth and Betty, the second
component is lacking. “He had not shared a bed with Betty for over thirty years…Sex
had never been a great success. They had never discussed it” (133). Despite
their marriage, Old Filth and Betty did not have much of a sexual relationship.
Despite this, Old Filth did feel a strong connection to Betty: “She made him
safe and confident. She had eased old childhood nightmares” (133). Thus,
despite the absence of a traditional sexual relationship between spouses, Old
Filth and Betty retain their marriage through the security they find in each
other’s company.